i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
