well I can't set my house on fire every night
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
