Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
My penis needs a shock collar
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
