We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
