Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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