I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I want to be your penis for a week.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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