bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
