I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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