Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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