I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Bring me that man meat
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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