Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
