I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
