is your mom at the bar?
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
