whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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