i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
