He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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