Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
