I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
