Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
