man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Randomize