To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Randomize
