ugly people sure do ruin things
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
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