I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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