im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Randomize
