i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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