My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
