just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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