I am in a vortex of obligation.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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