How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Randomize
