question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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