Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
