Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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