Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
