Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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