Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
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