Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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