I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i think i have herpe
just one?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
