Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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