He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
operation harelip BJ is a go
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
