right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
