The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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