That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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