i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
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