We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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