margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
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