her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
