i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
