totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
this boner is exhausting
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
