Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
