You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
