Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Randomize
