Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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