Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
