Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
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