can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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