I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
