I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
