new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Redeem this text for a blowjob
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
