I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I touched a dick in church today
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
