Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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