theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
