Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize