you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I'm sobbing to NWA
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
