Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize