hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
